Three weeks ago my son turned into a twitching madman. The few weeks leading up to this episode had been wild. He was in a local play and had practice three days a week along with school and all of his other activities. On the Friday night after the play’s opening, we were lying in the bed together trying to settle down… but there was no settling for him. His body was twitching involuntarily, so much so that we videoed him and sent it to our doctor. For the next week his body continued to twitch and his behavior was loud. He was ramped up to such a degree that we kept him home from school; we felt that it wasn’t fair for him or for his teacher to try and handle his situation in a classroom setting. The doctor set up an appointment for an EEG to check his brain activity and rule out the possibility of seizures. We really were not sure what was going on with him. We had hopes that maybe we were just facing a developing tic disorder. We lowered his sugar intake and slowed down his daily life until we got the test done. Before he even had the test performed he was already showing improvement. He still had some twitching but much less. We had the test performed and it revealed what we hoped to see: the brain activity of a normal 8 year old boy. We were very relieved but still unsure of what may have caused this. We have been on Spring Break this week and the Hyphens have been very low key. We have ridden bikes, painted, read books, played games, watched movies, and just been together. I noticed last night as he rested by my side that he was not twitching at all. I was so very thankful in that moment. Just as much as the twitching has concerned me it has bothered him. There were times he would ask, “Mom, when will this stop?” I looked at him last night and said “Holton, you are not jumping!” (“Jumping” is how we referred to his twitching.) He smiled and went to sleep.
Our bodies are meant to have down time. For me, some very ugly things start happening if I am overworked, overstressed, and under rested. I will wig out! I am slowly learning my body and the way it tells me that I am overdoing it. I think Holton was overdone. Perhaps he had been for weeks but he did not know how to tell me. I have been very passionate about learning my body. A lot of things I have discovered about myself have come from a quiet, restorative place. As I interact with more and more people through teaching yoga, I am discovering that we don’t know how to rest. Sure we know how to play, work and sleep. (Well, sleep is one that most Americans struggle with also!) We do not understand rest to its fullest. I know I don’t. What I do know is that we need more of it. I have been lucky enough to find myself in a place where I have been studying more about mediation and the need for it in our daily lives. Even before my son had his jumping issues, I had started a morning meditation routine with him. Just like most people, he had a hard time sitting still and resting his mind. Most mornings I feel like he is not getting anything out of it. To my surprise, he brings it to my attention if we miss our morning meditation time. I overheard him tell someone “Calm down and breathe like this…” and proceed to show them how to breathe deeply. Maybe he is getting it. Maybe I am teaching him to hear his body.
So the question we should ask ourselves is this: “If I could be still, would I?” My son had two weeks of his body moving without his permission. I would say, “Try to make it stop.” He could not will it to stop. Most of our days are like that, always moving. We try to find rest from things that will not give it to us. The scary thing I have found is that when I get still I see who I really am, the good, the bad, and the truth. But it’s in that place that I have also found rest. How restless are you? If you could be still, would you?
If you would like more information on the topic of finding rest through mediation, visit my Monday evening yoga class during the month of April. We will focus on this topic for all four sessions. I will also be holding a workshop for parents and their children on simple ways to help your child find rest. This will be a fun and meaningful experience. If you do not live locally and you would like more info please email me at 5fosterw@gmail.com
I have not arrived yet, but I am walking.