About a year ago I woke up in the middle of the night to take care of the annoying middle of the night business that middle-aged people have to do. You know what I mean! This is an issue for me. I think I spend more time in the bathroom at night than I do sleeping. But I have found that this is when God likes to talk to me, most likely because He knows my kids will not let Him get a word in when they are awake.
Joking… or am I???
Anyway… on this night, the Holy Spirit spoke two words to me: “in between”. I was very confused. I looked up the phrase and I also found a book titled “In Between,” which happened to be written by a pretty well-known Christian author. I ordered the book but it really did not speak to me. So I was lost with this phrase, “in between”. Fast forward to today and ask me “Vanessa, how do you feel?”
The answer is, “In between.”
For years, God has had my husband and me on a very unique journey. I feel like we get in one place only to be called to move along, as if God doesn’t want us to settle down in life. Transition and “in between” has been an ongoing theme for the Hyphen Nation. Honestly, I believe it is a valid theme for most people, it just looks different for each of us. (Eric calls it being “misplaced.” Expect to see a book on the topic one day!) I know from reading God’s Word that being “in between” is a pretty common biblical theme. Another word for it is “waiting”. People of both the Old and New Testaments spent hours, days, months, even years in the in between. And just like those of long ago we too — I too — try to hurry up the waiting process.
It is most uncomfortable for me right now. I feel like I am neither here nor there. Eric submitted his application for postgraduate studies at the University of Cambridge in England in October 2019. The university says to expect to wait up to 12 weeks just to hear if he has made it past the first step in the process. That’s not 12 weeks to find out if he got in, but just to get an interview with the university faculty. Also, in November he applied to the University of Saint Andrews in Scotland. The wait time there is four to six weeks. So needless to say, we have not heard from either university at this point. We visited both schools back in early June. This has been brewing for a while and I really want an answer. We have waited a few weeks but from my perspective it has felt like a year. It probably feels like such a long wait because God has been calling us down this path for a while. The calling has not always been completely clear but it has become very evident.
So here we are…
Waiting.
In between.
Watching God clarify as I sit patiently in this space.
So be encouraged. If you feel neither here nor there, you are not alone. We are really all “in between” until we see Jesus face to face. The question then becomes, “What is God calling me to in this in between space?” He is definitely calling us “in betweeners” to something while we wait. No time for Him is wasted, even in the discomfort of the waiting.