It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
Aristotle
The call on our lives can often feel lonely. Have you ever faced something in your life that you thought no one else would understand? The depth of someone else’s understanding does not define the difficulty of what you are walking through. No one can be in your shoes because, simply, they are not you. I know countless adults who have traveled the same road as my sweet husband — returning to graduate school while approaching middle age, changing careers later in life. But certainly each one of them has experienced the walk differently.
God used nine years on church staff and seven years in entrepreneurship to shape Eric and clarify his calling: he was supposed to serve the Church by becoming a professor teaches pastors-in-training. This was not a career change that could be made quickly; lots of education goes into becoming a professor. When Eric knew he was supposed to go back into the classroom as a student, he also knew it would not be easy. At that time he was a full-time classroom music teacher. Our home was occupied by four growing children who required attention and lots of words. However, through years of following Jesus he had learned to listen for the Spirit’s voice and obey. After taking care of his students and his family, any margin Eric had in his day was given to reading, writing, and studying. He applied himself to excellence. He had lots of crazy early mornings and super late nights. For three years, he spent most weekends in class or writing papers. He made time for me and the kids but lots of other things that he loved had to be laid aside. He made a choice. He believed this was the direction God wanted him to walk. It did become a lonely road for him. It would have been so easy for him to give up. He could have blamed his age, family, or current job for the reason he could not obey the call to go back, to start a radically new chapter.
He could have looked at others’ opinions and worried about what they thought. “Why would you sell a successful business?”
He could have believed that studying was not really of that much value. “Do you know what college professors make?”
He could have feared investing money in higher education. “I know PhDs who can’t get hired.”
He could have simply believed he was not the man for the job. “What makes you think you can do this?”
The list of reasons to avoid the hard, unpredictable, lonely thing that God put in front of us can go on and on. We are still very much in the middle of this God-given journey, which is taking us to England for Eric to study at the University of Cambridge with the Faculty of Divinity. Our “Yes!” to something that seemed impossible and appeared to make very little sense years ago has opened a wider door to share the Gospel in a place we never imagined God would take us. Eric’s willingness to be lonely, hard working, and steadfast on a difficult road has brought him to a place of abundance in heart. His love for the Word and the Church is deeper. His ability to hear is clearer. The riches of that season have been worth his years of sacrifice.
Are you faced with a hard road? Are you in a place where you feel like the world just does not understand? Do you believe your call is too small, too big, or does not fit the mold? Do you feel too young or too old? Do you feel unqualified?
Can I tell you a secret? Everyone who is listening to God feels this way. You can read story after story in the Bible where both men and women felt like they were not the right person for the job.
I want to encourage you to not shy away from the call on your life. Things may not look the way you thought they “should”. Is it possible for us to see this life through God’s perspective and not the world’s point of view? Who says you have to have it all figured out at any point in your life? I know that for us, following God has meant that we don’t know what five years from now will look like… and I am finally getting to a place where I am OK with that. Yes, there are times it is lonely, hard, and makes no sense, but the reward of following so outweighs the discomfort of staying the same. Go walk your road, friend!!!
Dear husband, I am tremendously proud. What a beautiful life your obedience has brought us! What joy we have found in Him because of the hard mountains we have not backed down from! Thank you for seeing past my fears and into the heart of God for our life. None of this has been easy but I would not take back a single challenge. The riches of your heart and the depth of your mind — both committed to the work of the Lord — are going to shake mountains. And what is the saying? ”I am here for it!”
